Why You Deserve Running Injuries


Yes, you. You with the Nike snickers and you with the Garmin Watch and you with your Justin Beiber Playlist (you specially) and you too, you showoff posting your every run on Facebook. You all deserve to get injured.

Duck Feet

Is this you?

You wanna know why? Read on.

 

You’re A Car That’s Misaligned

If tyres of your car tilted sideways instead of facing straight, wouldn’t you get it fixed before going for a long drive? Yet, that is exactly the case with your feet and you still keep running. No wonder you complain of knee injuries! Of course, you can pay attention from next time and try and maintain straight-aligned feet but you won’t. You deserve to get injured.

 

You’re Not a Well Oiled Machine

Your body cracks and creeks when you wake up and prepare for an early morning run yet you don’t do anything to mobilize it. Not that it takes more than just a few minutes to do targeted foam rolling and selected drills (like this one) to clean you up. Would you drive an unmaintained car that lets everyone think it’s a 1960′s vintage model? And if you’re still wondering, those 2 minutes of half hearted hamstrings stretches are not enough. You deserve to get injured.

 

Your Fuel is Kerosene

You are what you eat. Yes, you need a lot of calories before long runs and marathons but the quality matters too. Quality in terms of protein, fats, vitamins, electrolytes. And what about water? Yes, I see your shaker bottle with you on your runs but do you stay hydrated throughout the day? No, you don’t. Liar!

And here you stand, asking me “Isn’t running supposed to compensate for what I had last night at the party and oh, by the way, why do I always get cramps during my runs?”. You deserve to get injured.

pronation
Your Tyres Are Flat and Shock Absorber Missing

Don’t start complain about plantar fasciitis or ankle pain or shin splints. Have you ever seen your feet when you run? Will you do me a favor and take off your 100$ shoes? Now see if your feet collapse under the impact of your own bodyweight? Do you land hard on your heels? Can you even run barefoot or with PT shoes for a kilometer at least, let alone a marathon?

But who am I to say anything on this? You keep buying more expensive shoes to fix you. Way to go! You deserve to get injured.

 

Your Engine is that of a Scooter

Imagine running a car on a 145cc scooter engine. Not very fast, indeed.

Now all of you complaining about your finish timings, your muscles are your engine. It is not that difficult to train your engine to become fast and strong like that of a Ferrari (or a Merc at least). There are plenty of ways to do it. Barbell training, bodyweight training, isometrics, high intensity circuits. Practically any form of strength training will serve your purpose but you won’t do it. You’re a runner, not confined to a gym or a park. You need to be breath free. You need to run 5,6 may be 7 days a week to get those Runner’s highs. Right?

Shitting-pants-on-a-marathon_o_90800

Go at it. You can’t be stopped. You’re a free soul. Runners run with their heart, not with their body. No Pain, No Gain, Bro!

You, my friend, deserve to get injured.

 

Sarcastically Yours

PS

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